As the Galaxy Turns

Collins: The crew continues to go where no man or woman has gone before but they have yet to go into the bedroom. Sexy episodes were expected when Jeri Ryan joined the cast but fans and the media are still waiting for that very special close encounter.

[scene from "Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy"]

Doc: Be still, please.

Seven: Anything you say, Doctor.

Collins: Guess who had the idea for this scene?

Picardo: Painting Seven of Nine naked was my idea.

Collins: Guess who recently had all three Voyager women fighting over him?

[scene from "Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy"]

Seven: The Doctor and I are going to sick bay.

Torres: Any excuse to be alone with him, eh, Seven?

Seven: Assimilation is an unpleasant fate.

Torres: Is that a threat?

Picardo: It's a scene I never wanted to end, Pat. What can I tell you? Kate trumped all of them by coming up and complaining she had this terrible lower back pain and taking my hand and showing me exactly how low that pain was.

Mulgrew: (laughing) Sinking to the lowest possible level.

Collins: A hologram getting all of the action? Is that the future of sex in space? It is for the Voyager writers, who increasingly are spiking Voyager episodes with sex fantasies.

[scene from "Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy"]

Torres: Forget him. He's not half the man you are.

Collins: A holographic sex life just doesn't do it for the Captain.

Mulgrew: Who would go for that in life? It's like going into the movies, it's like going to the movies on 42nd Street.

Collins: As the Voyager crew heads toward its seventh and probably last season, maybe it's time for a little nookie in the Delta Quadrant. Let's call our fictional episode As the Galaxy Turns. What couple will emerge as the hot twosome?

Dawson: We will take our relationship to a new frontier.

Collins: And what that means - ?

Dawson: I have shocked you.

McNeill: We're the romantic couple that's been kind of waiting in the wings.

Collins: Just who is waiting in the wings for the captain?

Mulgrew: It couldn't be Seven of Nine, although there is a certain faction that would love to see that, I'm sure.

Collins: What???

Mulgrew: I think it has to be an alien of magnificent proportions.

Collins: Who would it be?

Mulgrew: I suppose could I settle for somebody like Robert De Niro.

Collins: And so does Garrett Wang. He's wondering what happened to that budding romance with Jeri Ryan.

Wang: They backed off of that. I think they want to keep her and my character single. Although they have been flirting a little bit with the Doctor. And Seven of Nine. Which I don't really see how that's going to work, being that he's a hologram.

Phillips: Seven of Nine is very interested in me, but she's not my type.

[scene from "Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy"]

Seven: It was a Platonic gesture. Don't expect me to pose for you.

Collins: Let's ask Jeri what she thinks about a real romance with the Doctor?

Ryan: I think it's very sweet. I think that friendship is a very special one because they are both technological beings. So I think it would be sweet down the line somewhere, but what do I know?

Collins: Maybe Star Trek superfan Jason Alexander could be Seven of Nine's romantic match. Jason will host the December 1 special of Star Trek's Greatest Moments. Pat Collins, UPN 9 News.